Eddie;

 "There's no way to know what makes one thing happen and not another.  What leads to what.  What destroys what.  What causes what to flourish or die or take another course.  But I was pretty certain as I sat there that night that if it hadn't been for Eddie, I wouldn't have found myself on the PCT.  And though it was true that everything I felt for him sat like a boulder in my throat, this realization made the boulder sit ever so much lighter.  He hadn't loved me well in the end, but he'd loved me well when it mattered."


This quote appears well towards the end of the novel, and Cheryl is no longer the same Cheryl she was when she first set foot on the PCT. All of  the minor things she once thought to be so terrifying, are now laughable, all of the hardships she faced she is certain she can push through, and she has overcome so many challenges at this point that there is nothing that will truly take her by surprise. But as she sits by the light of the fire she remembers one thing from her past that she has not quite solved yet: Her relationship with Eddie was troubled to say the least, when she left for the PCT. The man who had been there for her mother and her siblings while they grew up decided to remarry after the death of Cheryl's mother, and eventually lost contact. Cheryl in a way despises Eddie for this, but it is only in this moment that she truly realizes his value. Eddie is, in a way, a symbol for hope; in the despair of an abusive marriage, and short term relationships who were quickly "scared off" Eddie was the first to ever stay with Cheryl's mother and show her what a healthy marriage could be. In the confusion of Cheryl's younger years, growing up with an abusive father and dealing with men who never wanted anything to do with her, Karen, or Leif, Eddie came into their lives and immediately showed them that he would care for them, and love them. Just when it seemed they were doomed to a life of run down apartment complexes and a sleezy biker visitors Eddie came in a took them by surprise, in the best way possible. As Cheryl explains, her step-father taught her all the fundamental skills she used as the reasoning to hike the PCT; fires, camping, hiking.In the back of her mind, subconsciously even, this legacy was the beacon of hope that said to her "you can do this" when everything else in her mind, and her life said "it's impossible". He may not be there with her now to help her hike her way through the PCT, but that is because she does not need him any more, she finds power and strength within herself. Its as she looks at the fire that she realizes this; she is strong now, but Eddie was with her when she was not, and he gave her the hope she needed to find a way to her own independent happiness. 

There is no way to tell what one action, or one inaction will lead to; disaster or triumph, misery or prosperity, and she may never know what exactly drove her to do heroin, or to have affairs, but after reflection she realizes that Eddie was not the source of her pain, no matter how convinced she once was of that being the case. In reality he was the source of her will to find inner peace. Yes eventually Eddie did leave Cheryl and her siblings, but he stayed with them when it truly mattered. Knowing that is what made her feelings towards Eddie sit more comfortably.